Tuesday, November 1, 2011

My Boss is a Secret Agent.

About a week ago, as I opened my boss' office, I decided to check for messages on our voicemail. The typical, mundane messages were there, but at the end, there was a..."special" message.

The man sounded afraid, and he had a very thick Indian accent. "I love this country. I would never do anything to harm anyone in this country. They think I'm a terrorist. Here and in India. God bless you and your family. I would like to have those books returned to me please. It is requested that I have 30 seconds to tell you how to ground them. There are bomb shells everywhere. I will speak less." The message lasted about 2 minutes.

I was dumbfounded. What the fuck did I just listen to? I replayed the message over and over, completely confused as to what the hell was happening. At first, I just assumed it was a patient, but then I began to believe that this guy was just dialing random numbers and talking like this for fun. I deleted the message.

This morning, I did the same thing, and the same kind of message was on the office voicemail. As the message was playing, my boss walked in and smiled at me. "That's Dr. A----. According to him, I cloned and killed his wife in 1962, and I work for the CIA."

"What?" I really didn't know what the hell this message was.

My boss laughed. "Dr. A---- used to rent the office above us. He's a licensed psychiatrist; at least, he proclaims that. He's just another psychotic. He'll quit calling after a while."

Since my arrival to the office this morning, which was only one hour ago, this Dr. A---- has left four messages for my Secret Agent Boss, and while I type this last sentence, he's leaving a fifth.

I'm considering recording all of them.

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