Joe, surrounding himself with women after the harrowing "incident."
Academia wasn’t always the center of attention for the Randall Family. We enjoyed culture as well. By mid-September 2010, we had fallen back into our weekend socializing, which usually involved having a few beers with friends and watching strange movies during our Randall-sponsored themed movie nights. Considering the impending Rocky Horror Picture Show production at the Bay Street Theatre in October, we decided to fall into the transsexual theme early by going to see a live production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch at the very same Bay Street Theatre. My coworker at the therapist’s office was acting in the show, and she encouraged us to buy front row seats for the event. I promptly bought tickets for the boys and me, which proved to be worth the money I spent.
The plan for that Friday night was to go to the opening Hedwig show, then go get drunk with our friends who would be meeting us downtown later. As we entered Club One and walked up the stairs to the theatre, we became more and more excited about seeing this show that we hardly knew anything about. All we knew was that it was a musical about a German boy who got his dick half-assed cut off to become a woman and leave Communist Germany for the United States. It was all we needed to hear to be curious.
We immediately enjoyed the show from the beginning, but there is a special part of the musical that will always be remembered. Forever. There is a song, titled “Sugar Daddy” in the musical, and before Hedwig began singing, she asked, “Are there any sugar daddies in the audience?” Eric and I immediately pointed excitedly at Joe. He didn’t see the pointing. Hedwig stepped off the stage, grabbed Joe’s hand and told him to sit on the stage. He obliged.
What happened next was hilarious. Joe, grinning like a shit-eating toddler and listening to Hedwig sing this song to him, didn’t notice that she was moving herself to stand above him. Before he could react, she straddled the space above Joe’s head and let the fringes of her skirt brush his faux-hawk while telling the audience: “It’s a carwash, ladies and gentlemen!” Eric and I were doubling over in laughter, tears streaming from our eyes. Our very straight roommate was being molested by a transvestite in front of fifty other people. It was glorious.
Later that night, when Joe was discussing what happened, I let it slip that Eric and I had pointed at him to get Hedwig to pick him. He was tiffed. I'm pretty sure that, one day, he will get me back, and he will get me back good. I definitely agree that I deserve this revenge.